Katie and I celebrated the Autumnal Equinox by feasting and relaxing while camping out in our backyard. I grilled some chicken, she made a fresh salad with some of our homegrown tomatoes and we enjoyed a few sour beers and mead. We finally got to build a proper fire in the firepit (we haven’t touched the pit all year because it’s been too damn hot — both dogs enjoyed immensely) and threw down on some s’mores before bedtime. 

But the Autumnal Equinox is simply not complete without a burning ritual. Many cultures and spiritual philosophies utilize burning rituals in a variety of ways – yes, even Christianity, so don’t even try to go there with me because you won’t win – and I feel like it’s the perfect way to symbolize what the new season brings. The “old way” sees the Autumnal Equinox as a time to reflect on where you are in life and to align yourself with the way nature handles the season. Nature gave us a summer full of rich harvests and we are to likewise give thanks for life’s harvests we’ve reaped over the year. And much like how the foliage dies and our trees shed their dead leaves, we too must shed our “dead leaves.” It’s our time to identify the people, emotions, thoughts and situations that are no longer serving us and shed them as well.

We spent some time recording the things we’re thankful for as well as the things we want to let go and gave them both to the fire. It’s such a simple gesture but something so powerful. I spoke with my coach recently about it and likened it to how I only allow myself to eat country-fried steak once a year. I associate country-fried steak with where I was in my life before I took control of my health. And while country-fried steak itself didn’t make me fat and give me such bad health problems, it was symbolic of where I was at that time. It’s still my favorite food on the planet but I allow myself to eat it only once a year as an annual reminder that I am the one who is in control of my health. I choose to only eat it once and I get to decide when that is – it’s all up to me, it’s all my call. It’s the same with the burning ritual.

By taking the time to identify those characteristics you want to improve about yourself – those feelings of negativity, self-hatred, low self-esteem, body dysmorphia and imposter syndrome (geeze, project much?) – and tossing them into the fire, you are showing that you are the one in control of those emotions. You have the ability to focus on them differently, to learn from them and, as demonstrated by the fire, to destroy them. It’s such an empowering experience and it certainly helped me be more positive. Almost immediately, actually.

But dumping self-hatred and toxic behavior into a fire is just the beginning. Just like how avoiding country-fried steak is meaningless if I don’t also make an effort to eat well most of the time and exercise regularly. It takes work on all fronts. Burning paper isn’t going to take the place of me doing the work. So I’m ready to start a new season of work in my own life.

Let’s talk about it.

Goals I’ve Kept Up With:

Clean Eating & Tithemi

I just wrapped up the fourth week of the program but week two of the program as designed. That’s just to say the first two weeks of the program consisted of me finishing my last workout program and spending a week going half-speed both because I needed a rest and because I had a wicked bout of depression I had to deal with. I’m really digging this new workout program even though it’s friggin’ HARD. I’ve been keeping on my meds and supplements as well as sticking to my DASH-inspired nutrition pretty closely. It’s been pretty cool because the few times I tried DASH I kind of hated it but I’ve found some pretty fun ways to make it not only tolerable but enjoyable! I get updated labs the first week of October so we’ll see if my efforts have paid off then.

For what it’s worth, I’m down 8.4 pounds and my BP reading is now around 132/95 (down from 179/118). You tell me if it’s working.

List On The Other Page

The last time I updated on this I just had a single item left on that list. I finished it. Goal: Achieved! Next, I guess I need to flesh out a new list for the remainder of the year.

220 Pounds by 39

I kinda forgot I set a goal to be 220 pounds this year. Is it cheating to resurface a goal you know you’ll achieve after you’re well on your way? Short answer: no. I have an unofficial goal to be crazy shredded for Christmas just to prove that it can be done!

Blood Pressure in Order

This was one of the first goals I wrote in my planner. Already noted here but my blood pressure is going down-down-down. Laugh at that, Dr. Ayo.

Saturday Night Grindhouse Project

I’ve decided to go ahead and move forward with this project. My rough manuscript is now in the hands of my editor (thanks, Melisa!) so I expect to get started on my next draft in the next month or so. I still need to write the introduction and put in a few “extras” after the beef is fully fleshed out. I think I’ll be ready to either self publish or submit after the first of the year. Not the 2023 goal I wanted but it won’t be long after! And who knows, maybe I’ll get this in even earlier.

Goals that Need Revision:

None this month!

New Goals:

Folk-Punk, Photography and Other Art

It’s no secret that when I parted ways with the poorly ran and now-defunct boxing gym, I had a void in my heart. It was patched up by my continued personal training side gig but I also gave that up nearly a year ago after I was promoted at my full-time job. Without that, I’ve lost a great source of joy in my life. Sure, I get immense joy from my wife, pets and home but what I’m looking for is just different. It’s hard to spend nearly a decade feeling like I was making such a huge impact on the world only to be almost 39 years old and feeling like I no longer provide value. 

I’ve decided that to help combat this, I’m going to pursue new hobbies and revisit old ones. I want to get back into writing music (primarily folk-punk songs – I’ve already written one!), photography and maybe even painting. It maybe doesn’t seem like it but being a trainer allowed me to flex my creative muscle in ways I didn’t think I could or was even necessary. I think that creative muscle is exactly what I’m trying to satisfy.

Goals I’m Letting Go:

None this month!

Rad Things From September:

In September I saw my sister deadlift 250 pounds with perfect form, fully dedicated myself to some new workout/nutrition programming, saw Guns N’ Roses in concert with my bro Aaron, did the Marine Mud Run (also with Aaron), hit up Knoxville’s Punk Rock Flea Market, officially started Halloween shopping, celebrated the Fall Equinox by camping in the backyard, caught Jo Koy live with some friends and lost 8.4 pounds. Maybe not the most eventful month but October’s going to be crazy, y’all! 

Before I shut it down for the month, I figured I’d share that on the night we camped in the backyard, I was firing up the grill and needed to run inside to grab one of my mitts. As I reached for the door, a giant bee flew out of nowhere and damn-near slammed into my face. Without thinking, I tried to swat the little jerk away, not realizing how close to my face he was. As my hand got closer, the bee flew away and I ended up swatting myself in the face so hard I made my nose bleed.

I spent the rest of the evening fearing I’d wake up with a black eye. I made up an elaborate story about how I got into a scuffle with a guy who was flirting with Katie and had decided I would work remotely with my camera turned off until it went away. Fortunately I didn’t have to do either of those things.

Happy Spooky Season, freaks!

-JS