Beard Hair in My Coffee — more than a clever, if not off-putting, name. It’s a part of my day. Something I can count on. If you can start your day with something you can count on, your day is off to a pretty sweet start, I’d say.

In the morning, I’m into coffee, boxing, weightlifting and breakfast. I’m a former personal trainer who still has a very sexy and very serious relationship with the gym. When I leave said gym, I manage a team of Metadata Administrators for Warner Brothers-Discovery. I’m a big fan of eating breakfast and wearing inappropriately short shorts. At night, I’m all about cooking food, spinning records and playing guitar. I am a very vocal (and often angry) feminist, am a straight ally and support BLM.

I’m married to Knoxville’s top interior designer who is absolutely crushing the game with her business Lady Katie Creations. She is a certified badass and the funniest, smartest person I’ve ever met in my life. I married way, way up.

I have a Boston Terrier named Mötley Brüe, a Pom-Chi named Ozzy Pawsbourne, a Box Turtle named Donatello and a Black Cat named Wednesday. We’ve also claimed ownership of the cows in the field across from us all affectionately named Jan, their white donkey companion we’ve named Javier and the hawk that lives in a tree in their field we’ve named Lagertha. We’ve recently named the fat-ass woodpecker that eats giant chunks of suet Ron Jeremy.

My favorite things include writing, photography, tattoos, Instagram, Ska (Trad, 2-Tone and Third Wave), Punk Rock (Hardcore, Pop, Grindcore, Horror, Emo, Crust, Skate and Folk), Heavy Metal (Death, Black, Metalcore, Doom, Folk, Deathcore, Glam, Thrash, Nu, Industrial, Sludge and Viking), cheeseburgers, Mexican food, Indian food, Greek food, pizza, playing guitar, playing bass, playing drums, art (De Stijl, Pop Art, Expressionism, Cubism, Dadaism, Renaissance, Baroque and Surrealism), the color black, clothes shopping, speaking into a microphone, boxing, weightlifting, hockey, drinking mead, smoking my own bacon, celebrating Rosé Thursday, reading (non-fiction, primarily), reading philosophy and cooking food for people I care about.

I don’t hate many things but please don’t ever talk to me about the University of Tennessee football program, D*n*ld Tr*mp, Nickleback, Five Finger Death Punch, Shinedown, Volbeat, Cher, how great the Foo Fighters are, Keto, Intermittent Fasting, tribal tattoos, the Big Bang Theory, Fox News or getting “wasted” when you’re over 30 years of age.