I recently read about a Jewish Rabbi named Isaac Luria, apparently known as “the Ari” who lived in the sixteenth century. According to this man, the process of reincarnation (the belief that the soul returns to life in many different forms over time) gives the soul the opportunity to heal and correct all wrongdoings it may have caused in a previous life, therefore changing the world it left behind for the better. In theory, this could mean that someone who leads a pure life over and over again has the opportunity to reach a state of godliness, an immortal soul. “The Ari” goes on to state that the converse could also be true, meaning someone who hasn’t necessarily lived up to the expectations of whatever higher power he may or may not believe in could reincarnate as a lower creature. To most humans, this means: animals. According to this gentleman’s belief in reincarnation, it would be entirely possible for me, someone who thinks they’re living a decent life, to reincarnate as a bee, something I hate, all in the name of punishment. Interesting idea…

Tonight, I decided to shave. It had been about a week, so Mr. Simpson was becoming rather grizzly. I was feeling creative and was toying with the thought of growing a beard, so I decided to shave off little bits at a time and show Erin the results to get her feedback on the different facial-hair styles. I started with what I called the “Tim Simpson,” a beard very much like, to my knowledge, the one my dad has always sported. It was voted down. I came back again with a goatee and chops…”Not bad” was the response. Round three consisted of a Hulk Hogan brand mustache. “No”. I thought I’d surely get her with the porn star ‘stache, which was next in my bag of tricks, but I lost again. Finally, after misinterpreting what Erin wanted me to try to do, I returned for a final time with a Hitler mustache. I was being a moron and began marching back to the bathroom when I saw a bug on our ceiling. Without thinking twice, I busted out a blitzkrieg final solution on our friend and thought…What if Adolf Hitler reincarnated as an insect, and I just killed him while wearing his mustache?

Irony. This haiku has nothing to do with it. Enjoy:

E.A. Active works
Not worked out in a long time
Sore as all hell now