Let’s get something straight: If you’re going to use the #foodporn tag, your food had better be pornographic in some way. Gratuitous – maybe even exploitative. I hate scrolling through my Instagram feed and seeing people heating up jarred tomato sauce and pouring it over some chicken that was pre-breaded and frozen situated on an ugly plate and captured forever on a digital camera with the flash on. I felt like it was my job to make up for such a disservice to the #foodporn community by making my own chicken parmesan recently. I texted a friend Boys bake pre-breaded, frozen chicken and call it chicken parmesan. Men bread their own fresh chicken but not before they stuff that shit with mozzarella and chorizo. You just received a text from a man. And it was true and it was tasty.
But I didn’t take a photo, therefore no #foodporn, therefore I didn’t do my part to cancel out some other dude’s culinary laziness. I am a bad food pornographer.
Last month I got my first crate from Mantry, a monthly box-subscription service that delivers artisan tasties from all over the country to your front door. As you could probably tell from my review post Mantry aren’t messing around when it comes to bringing you food lovelies that are top of the line and not packed with typical grocery BS.
Last month’s box had a Euro Trip theme and featured food inspired by a true European culinary experience. For this month’s theme, Mantry have teamed up with GQ as part of #GQHowToMonth and put together some foodie staples meant to wow your guests. Erin and I rarely ever entertain so for the most part we’re wowing ourselves but at least the delights are classy. I can dig it.
Let’s get into this months box:
From left to right:
Chipotle Lime Peanuts from Bee’s Knees Food Co., Chicago, IL
Bourbon Barrel Aged Old Fashioned from Bittermilk, Charleston, SC
Raw Honeycomb from Savannah Bee Co., Savannah, GA
FDA Chocolate Salami from Dude, Sweet Chocolate, Dallas, TX
Whiskey Salami from Creminelli, Salt Lake City, UT
Porter Crackers from Beer Flats, Cincinnati, OH
As usual, I plan on reviewing these items as they’re prepared and start hitting my belly. I’m very excited about getting down on the whiskey salami and chocolate “salami”. We’ve already snuck a bite of the crackers and I’m looking forward to utilizing the honeycomb and the bitters because I’m a big fan of a classic Old Fashioned but I sometimes hate ordering them when I go out because I’ve heard some (lazy) bartenders complain about the few steps that are involved. Heck, maybe I’ll complain, too, after making one or two at home, who knows?
While I’m merely a home cook that just knows a little bit of something about food, I can still certainly appreciate the experiences provided by a nice culinary adventure whether it be trying a new restaurant, cooking a new food, or simply being surprised by the contents of the monthly Mantry crate and the enjoyment and inspiration it provides. It wouldn’t hurt if you did some of the same – you might even learn something!