Back in December, I turned 40. You may remember this.

You may also remember that we went to Disney World to celebrate.

I chose Disney World because I just wanted to go, mostly, but also because I knew that 40 was a big milestone and we needed to commemorate it. I wanted to go on a vacation with Katie instead of having a more traditional birthday party because the idea of having people involved with my birthday gives me anxiety (long story). I’m getting through it and am even flirting with the idea of trying something more traditional this year but it’s a long road and it’s very tiny baby steps.

Since my wife is a beautiful genius, she came up with a great way to indirectly get people involved with my milestone birthday by reaching out to my closest friends and encouraging them to write me letters or send me cards filled with memories and general positivity that were really uplifting and encouraging for me. They also pooled their money together and bought me my very own pizza oven!

Anyone who knows me knows that my relationship with pizza goes far beyond casual. It’s not uncommon for Katie to hear me making erotic noises while I’m watching reels on Instagram. Her concerns are quelled when she finds it isn’t booty-dancing bimbos who are eliciting the response, but videos of Neopolitan, New York, Chicago and Detroit-style pies dripping with cheese. I have a spreadsheet on my Google Drive that lists every pizza restaurant in our area so we can systematically try them all, I ate pizza about 10 times during our 2-½ weeks in Italy last year and I have a slice tattooed on the back of my shoulder.

One of the things I learned while we were in Italy is that pizza doesn’t have to be junk food. Yes, I needed both hands to count the number of times I had pizza in that beautiful country, but it never once made me feel groggy or lethargic, much like it does after I pound a $5 hot-and-ready or a pie from Marco’s. When you think about it, it really should be this way. Your basic pizza dough is only flour and water, your sauce should just be tomatoes and your toppings are generally pretty healthy. American takeout pizza, however, slathers loads of oils and garlic butters onto their crust, which is DELICIOUS but also packs a truckload of heart-stopping omega-6s. Additionally, we noticed not only how much less cheese they used on their pies in Italy but also how much we didn’t miss the large amounts we find at home. I’m not lactose intolerant, but cheese is generally inflammatory and will bring anybody down once they’ve consumed copious amounts.

And let me tell you: when it comes to pizza, I’m going to consume copious amounts.

I can’t eat pizza as often as I’d like and maintain my health and physique in the way that I’d like … but what if I could? All it would really take is to find the perfect pizza dough recipe and become a pro at homemade pies. Not only are they going to taste better and be WAY cheaper, they’ll also be exponentially healthier.

Needless to say, I was SO HYPED when I opened that birthday present and learned I had my very own pizza oven. I quickly assembled it and began researching how to use it but then it just found its way to our garage where it sat awaiting a home. My plan was to build a custom table that I could situate outside just between my Akorn and Blackstone. I researched this as well and had a pretty good idea of how I was going to do it, but before long I realized it’s been three months and I hadn’t made a single pizza. I was never going to get around to building that table. It was time to make a change.

I will still build my custom table eventually (complete with herb garden shelf and custom art burned into the wood), but for the time being, I decided to go with a pedestrian $100 table I found online. Add to that a new 12” pizza peel (my existing peel was too wide to fit the oven) and shit’s about to get real Italian around here.

Lately I’ve been utilizing the Neapolitan pizza dough recipe from Hey Grill Hey. According to a smart-ass in the comments, the recipe isn’t fully authentic Neapolitan, but it’s REALLY good so I’m sticking with it. It’s impossibly simple with just water, yeast and 00 flour with the addition of a 24-hour fermentation process. The resulting dough is easy to work and has the perfect texture for sliding off the peel without the need for semolina or cornmeal.

We had Pops over on Saturday night and wanted to dazzle him with our homemade pies but we had the added challenge of it being our first time using the oven. As if that wasn’t enough, we had a tornado threat bearing down on us but I was willing to get in a fist fight with Mother Nature for the sake of cranking out these pizzas.

Since it was our first time, I did take my eye off the oven for a bit too long on Katie’s Prosciutto, Roasted Garlic and Mascarpone pie, turning half of her outer crust into Anakin Skywalker’s legs.

Next up was Pops’ Spicy Italian Sausage, Mushrooms and Roasted Garlic pie (with freshly grated mozzarella) that came out nearly perfect, only with a little singe around the edge. Honestly, I think his was my favorite overall due largely to the topping combination.

Finally, my Bacon, Roasted Garlic and Pineapple pie (also with fresh mozz) was pulled prematurely since I was determined to not burn at least one of our pies. So it could have stood to have been in the oven another minute or so, but it was still decently crispy and was cooked all the way through.

I only got the one photo of the one pizza because I was in the pizza weeds as we stretched, assembled and baked the other two. I think from now on if we’re hosting, Katie and I will need to define our front-of-house/back-of-house roles so we can be a little more efficient. I still think we kinda killed it for our first time making this “flying saucer food delight.”

On that note, I’ll leave you with this really dumb song from the 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles album “Coming Out of Our Shells” that I had on cassette tape because of course I did. I won’t stop doing this until I’m the best in the world.

-JTF