This passed New Year’s Eve, I did what 95% of American’s did and I made a New Year’s Resolution to lose weight and get in shape. Then, I did exactly opposite of what those 95% of Americans did and was still going strong 3 weeks into the new year. In fact, 3 months into the new year and I was still rocking out hard. Heck, even 4 months. I had lost nearly 20 lbs, had toned up quite a bit and wasn’t breathing hard when I had to walk up steps. It was an awesome feeling.
Then we start buying this house. Items started getting boxed up, plans were being made…Burger King was being eaten…And now, 5 months (almost 6) into the year and all 25 of those pounds have crept back into my life. And they’re ugly, let me tell you. Ugly. I didn’t think it was that bad, as I’ve been doing quite a bit of physical work around the new house and haven’t really been pigging out…too bad…lately, so I figured it was all good…I stepped on the scales this morning and there it was, all back. Erin made me feel better by telling me that those scales were usually off about +5 lbs, which made me feel a little better…a little…And then that little was crushed…
During lunch today we ate with some of her folk’s church friends and we sat around eating like a group of church friends would do. Laughing at goofy jokes, blah blah blah. And then…One of the ladies I didn’t know told me “Wow, you’ve gotten bigger since the last time I’ve seen you! Must be all that good cooking!”
In other words…”Justin, you’re a fat ass.”
Thanks. I’m off to go die now in a super sized grave.
Jon Willis, you need to be here.
Enjoy today’s haiku:
Double Chin, tit, tit
Belly. Big fat man’s belly.
Here comes fruit and veg!
Don’t get discouraged.
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