Here’s another collection of OneWord words from this week. Again, the day’s word will be in bold
She pawned off the ring I bought her. She threw out all of the love letters I wrote her. She burned all the photos we took together. And this is why I didn’t feel bad when I pulled all of her teeth out and made her swallow each and every one.
She said that if I said one more word to her, that my name would be Mud. She didn’t mention that I would also be buried in that mud. Up to my chin, to be exact. Yeah, any minute now she’ll start again and cover the rest of my head.
It’s no myth that I’m in love with you. Certainly no myth that I get whatever I want. Oh, and by far, it’s no myth that I will bring you down, little bits at a time, until I have you zipped up in a bag and under…my…porch.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have to announce that the entire town will be shutting down immediately. It’s a sad, sad day in this happy town, but for the first time ever, the Benincidis Virus has been spread to the general public. The dead are now the living. God bless your families during this time of pure anarchy and chaos. Good night.
Let’s see…What to order…What to order…There’s the spaghetti and meatballs that are always good…Pineapple duck? Nah…Ooh, here’s some baked ziti…nope. Ah! I’ll have the creamed pesticide with Pine Sol cereal!
A bear. It was a friggin’ bear. I’m sure of it. I mean, what else could have arms like that? Big, strong, hairy arms…Hairy chest…A spiked drink and handcuffs? Wait a minute, what kind of bar is this?
How he was able to generate such a story was beyond me. I mean, seriously! How am I supposed to believe that he saw someone do such a horrible thing like that to him? It isn’t every day that you get your feet cut off, I realize, but I have a hard time believing that he was forced to watch it happen, too!
Reel Big Fish is tomorrow night!
Enjoy today’s haiku:
Drank all my water
Before it was even noon
Thirsty as can be…