Reboot Day 1 – AKA “Fight the Possible Beetus”

Right now Erin is in the kitchen warming up some nice, decaffeinated, herbal tea for the both of us. Now I’m not usually a pre-bedtime tea drinker but tonight I become one. For lunch and dinner today we each had some baked carrot & sweet potato “fries” and salads. I’m not much of a salad eater but today I became one. For a mid-morning and mid-afternoon snack today we both had freshly-made carrot / apple juice. Neither of us are carrot / apple juice drinkers but today we became some.

Big time health freaks? No.

Suddenly health-conscious? Perhaps.

Gluttons for culinary punishment? Most definitely.

We watched a documentary on Netflix a few weeks ago called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead that follows character Joe as he travels across the country preaching the gospel of a fashionable diet trend commonly referred to simply as “juicing”. The “diet” took him a relatively short amount of time to make him, indeed, fat, sick and nearly dead to being a perfect picture of health. If you don’t question the fact that he took pretty much two months off from work, likely received cash to participate in the project from film funding and a motivation provided by rolling video cameras, what you have left is a convincing story of a man that took a fad diet seriously and it ended up paying off.

If you’re like me, though, you easily see that this is nothing but a crash diet, is likely not 100% healthy and is sort-of a no-brainer: You eat nothing but vegetables with enough calories that add up to be a considerable caloric deficit for even the most average of people you’re going to lose weight and you’re going to lose it quickly. I guess that’s sort-of the point.

And I think it’s stupid.

Enter my life about a week ago. My yearly physical is something I really do not look forward to. Usually it ends the same way: “Justin, you’re fat. Justin your liver has about had it. Justin, you need to lose weight, your blood pressure is out of control and you’re going to end up having a heart-attack.”

And that’s pretty much how this one went only with the addition of high cholesterol, a supremely fatty liver and a blood sugar level that made the doctor drop the “D” word for the first time in my life as a possibility.

What!? Possible early-stage diabetes? Pardon my French but fuck. That.

And so I bit the bullet. I had my last beer on Saturday in Asheville at a great restaurant called Chorizo paired with my last red meat, a dish called Steak Maestro here:

Steak Maestro @ Chorizo in #AVL – #foodporn #foodbeast

A post shared by justintfirefly (@justintfirefly) on

I had my last soda in the form of a Pepsi Cola from a rest stop at the North Carolina state line on Sunday morning, my last pizza in the form of a pepperoni and mushroom pizza from my favorite delivery, Marco’s Pizza and my last caffeine was in the form of cheap coffee at our hotel’s continental breakfast. On Monday I spent $120 in produce at Kroger and today the first phase of the “reboot” took place.

The first phase is pretty much 100% fruit and veg, just like the second phase, only actual cooking happens in addition to juicing. The phases are five days.

Today (Day One)

Feeling: Crap – headache all day (likely due to no caffeine)
Mood: Also crap – probably due to headache.
Weight: 261 lbs
Blood Pressure: 130/91*
Feelings toward Joe: Hatred

*Yes, I bought an at-home blood pressure monitor like my grandparents have. I’m not proud of this. My BP was abnormally “normal” today, though.

My intention is to update regularly over the course of the next 10 days and maybe beyond. The goal is to stay motivated and accountable if nothing else then to the blog. Will it last? Who knows. I guess if I update on day 10 saying I’ve not had a heart attack or been diagnosed with diabetes then I suppose it’s a win.

Also, for what it’s worth, the tea was tasty!

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