03/15/2010

Wow, here are some more super cool and tempting to those with tiny brains advertisements brought to us by your friends at the sinking ship that is Myspace.  Enjoy:


FBI is Back Again!
Welp, here’s the FBI again, and this time they’re really not screwing around! This brotha busts yo’ ass wearing a tie and khakis. I remember seeing inmate garbage pickup in North Carolina being handled by at least one if not two policemen with guns like that (sometimes 2 a piece!). There was no getting away from them, and there’s certainly no getting away from this guy. He needs YOU to suit up with this gun that probably can’t fit into his car anyway and live your dreams of busting people…just…like…you…


They Sold Out, But…
Due to popular demand, the ever popular Secrets of How to Talk to Women Confidently & Easily is back in limited supply for your researching needs. Coming to you on audio CDs, this collection of one liners and dance moves is sure to keep you single, showerless, and still using Myspace.


But, now I’ll Have to Buy 3 Horses!
It was a terrible weekend when Tao’s poor long backed horse died. So bad that he got right on over it and bought this Cadillac and picked up strangers for a night on the town! The folks of Madison Wisconsin will tell you, that in this fast paced technological life we live in, riding your three saddled horse is old news and you can get around in style AND on a budget. THANKS TAO!

The Grand Finale
I want to precede the the grand finale by saying that this small collection of ads that I’ve gathered today are not only some of the most ridiculous and stereotypical, but they’re also my favorite thus far. Starring an unnamed character that is like a funky mix of Biggie Smalls, Urkel, Biz Markie and Willie Wonka, here’s the guy that doesn’t work fast food anymore because He Don’t Make It Rain, He Make It Hurricane!



Subject / Verb agreement goes right out the window with this guy, but who cares, he don’t be workin at KFC anymore. He gots tha new whips and bags of cash, all because he clicked this ad. Remember, SCARED MONEY DON’T MAKE NO MONEY.

Enjoy today’s haiku:

Bringing boxes up
I think we just bought a house
Ready to be poor!

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